


clogged my throat up so much i can't breathe, even though i love you baby i gotta get away

by timeisaconstruct



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, implied/hanahaki, jaehyun is there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-18 00:08:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20629808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeisaconstruct/pseuds/timeisaconstruct
Summary: A diary from the one he loves, the one who is slowly dying in his presence.





	clogged my throat up so much i can't breathe, even though i love you baby i gotta get away

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning, someone dies.

As the last bell of Doyoung’s classes rang, the Korean male packed up his notes and textbooks into his backpack, exiting the classroom along with the other students. Prepared to run back to his dorm and relax, Doyoung gave a sigh of relief. The sun was out, but so were the clouds, making rays of sunlight shine it different places in the courtyard.

Doyoung made his way along the concrete pathway to the dorms, determined to catch up on sleep before his night job. Hopefully, Taeyong would be their to make something delicious, Doyoung really didn’t want to cook anything. Since things on campus aren’t that far away, by the time he had reached the door to the apartment like building that was student housing, not much time had passed.

He takes the steps, two by two determined to get to his warm bed faster. But when he reached the front of his door, cardboard boxes were piled on one side and Taeyong nowhere to be found. Doyoung—curious as ever—opens up a box and finds all of Taeyong’s various posters, rolled up with rubber bands in the middle to keep them in place. Another—shirts, sweaters, and other assorted clothing.

What was going on?

“Taeyong?" He called out into the dorm, then proceeding to scan the hallway. "Where are you what’s going on?”

“Yes, Doie?” He called from the end of the hallway. “Hey.”

“What’s going on?” Doyoung repeats, getting confused and a little scared.

“I didn’t tell you? I’m moving back home, my mother is sick, he panted. “Not getting better.”

“But you’ll return when she’s better right?”

“Of course.”

“Well,” Doyoung glanced at the pile of boxes again, inspecting them. “Need help?”

“Most probably, yeah.” Taeyong looks at the pile mournfully. “But only if you're up for the challenge?”

“Heck yeah, I can carry boxes.” Doyoung hoists one up in a fluid movement causing Taeyong to laugh and pick one up too. It seems he is.

As they male their way back down the hallway again, Doyoung pops him a question. “Is your car in the parking lot?”

“Yeah, it’s the closest anyways.” he sighs, jumping the box up higher to keep it from falling. Doyoung and Taeyong approach the door that leads directly out to the parking lot, walking through the wide open door. Doieubg assumes he opened it earlier.

They walk out and set the boxes down in the back of Taeyong’s pick up truck.

“I’ll miss you~”

“I’ll be back before you know it. Hopefully.”

“Fine, but I’ll hope!” Doyoung laughed backing away from the car as Taeyong turned his blinkers on. Taeyong kept the wind

Walking back to his dorm Doyoung noticed a worn book on Taeyong’s old bed. Being the curious cat he was he opened it up to the first page. It looked like a diary.

Dear journal (not a diary),  
You already know who I am. Well, not really but you don’t need to know. Your just a journal. Anyways today was my first day of college. I thought to buy a new one instead of using mine from high school. Anyways even though school is yet to start I thought about writing this, in the beginning, in case anyone ever reads this. I doubt it though.

Sincere,  
*insert signature*

Doyoung laughed. ’Well, I’m reading it now wonder what they think?’

Picking up the book, Doyoung closed the door and blinds before curling up under his duvet and opening to the next entry.

Dear Journal,  
Today is actually my first day and I found out about my roommate! His name is Doyoung but I can call him . Tomorrow I might ask if I call him Doie. Doie sounds like a cute nickname for him. Did I mention how cute he is? I just can’t *insert keyboard smash be writing it would be cringe* He's so adorable. Anyways our dorm is nice enough, we took at tour today and I dropped off some of my stuff. It’s my first night in the dorms and I’m really excited about tomorrow because classes begin!!

Sincerely,  
LTY

❛Was this Taeyongs? Its has to be if he mentioned me.❜ Doyoung peeked above his covers looking about the room. ❛Well, no one’s watching it couldn’t hurt to read a bit more right?❜

And so Doyoung read the entry,

Dear journal,  
There was a party at another dorm today. Doie said he was invited by his friend Dean to go and asked me to come. At first, I didn’t want to but I didn’t want Doie to be sad so I obliged. When we arrived everything was fine and exactly how I remembered high school parties to be like. This one just had more liquor and ’apple juice’. But then Doie saw Dean with a girl and I guess he had a crush on him. He immediately left, I followed him and the rest of tonight had been spent watching stranger things with ice cream. Doie finally fell asleep and I kept him in my lap for a while. He so cute I just can’t~ A few minutes ago I tucked him in on his bunk before writing this. My throat feels kind That’s all for today.  
Sincere,  
LTY

After entry,

DJ DJ,  
I got the news that my mother gave birth to a stillborn. Part of me isn’t surprised, she’s almost forty five so I was really surprised last year when she told me. While part of me is worried about her mental state, I know my dad and my brothers will keep her company. Today I looked at my Doie and my throat clogged up, later i rushed to the bathroom and was surprised to see I had thrown up something pink. It was camellia leaves. I’ve got hanahaki. Tomorrow I’m going to go clubbing, hopefully Doie doesn’t follow. I’m trying to get over him.  
Pray for my health,  
LTY

Until he reached the last one in the book.

Dear Journal,

This can’t keep going on. My throat is getting clogged and I sometimes can’t breathe. I looked up online for a solution but he either loves me back, I cut out my lungs, or I distance myself. My best friend goes to school in Japan and I applied for school there. I have to leave this place. I’ve tried to tell you and to give you hints, but I’m too scared everyone will think I’m crazy for liking a boy in this day and age so to avoid that I made up a lie about my mother being sick so I can leave without suspicion. I just hope Doie doesn’t hate me if he finds out the truth. This is the only way. And Doyoung if you ever find this I want you to know: I’ll love you to the ends of the earth and back, but I understand you don’t love me back. And that’s fine. I made the move so you can stay you. Have a nice life with Dean and don’t forget me.

Love,

Taeyong Lee

It had been a few days since Taeyong had left for home when Jaehyun, the Dean and one of both of males closest friends noticed Doyoung hadn’t been in class for a while. He decided to check out they’re dorm. He makes his way down the hallway, getting an uneasy feeling from how quiet it was. The only other dorm that had been in use for this school year had gotten wrecked after a fire so their dorm was the only one left. He approached the little metal sign, pausing at the Doyoung Last Name and Taeyong last name door.

He couldn’t hear anyone awake and when he opened the door, the living room was empty. So was the kitchen, the bathroom door was wide open, and so was the study. He couldn’t even hear breathing. Something was wrong. Jaehyun opened Taeyong and Doyoung’s shared room open and found camelia flowers littering the floor, a bloody knife, and Doyoung on the floor with several stab wounds and his hand on the knife.

**Author's Note:**

> [ curious cat ](https://curiouscat.me/litteralydonghyuck)   
[twitter ](https://twitter.com/hyuckieswrld)   



End file.
